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If Im not getting what I want, it means Im in pain It means Im not good enough It means theres something wrong with the world Or theres something wrong with me. And on and on it goes. And thus, desire gets a bad rap and enlightened people tell you to not have any desires at all. But its not the desire that hurts. Its the stories we attach to the desires.
When you want to attract a soul mate, it creates a longing. That longing can be beautiful, in its own way, but its also painful. Or it can be. And most people find themselves stuck in this stage. They want a soul mate, they tell themselves. They really do. But since its not happening, they tend to interpret that lack of a soul mate in rather harsh ways. They attach all sorts of meanings to the lack. Which may involve blame, self condemnation, pity, and various other energies that only make things worse. These stories take a beautiful longing and turn it into a painful and ugly reality. Love means youll just get used and abused and then abandoned. Love means the other person will get close to you and then they can hurt you. Love means something bad will happen to you.
Im caught in the middle. My heart longs for love, and I want a loving relationship, but my early childhood programming tells me relationships are something to be avoided. Because love equals pain and shame and whatever else I learned. to be filled with love. To belong. To feel safe in love.
The other person is just illusion. (In the sense that everything we see in our world is illusion.) We make the illusion real. Thats part of what it means to be human. We selectively pick and choose various aspects of the illusion we see around us, and make them real to us. We get to choose whats real and whats not. So yes, we can make a soul mate real, and out of that wonderful and beautiful relationship, our lives can be greatly enhanced. The energy of the relationship itself can nurture us and fill our hearts with love and joy. Unfortunately, weve been taught and conditioned to make the stories real instead of the love and joy of a relationship with a soul mate. Weve been almost forced to believe that pain and struggle and not getting what you want thats whats real. Living a happy, joyful, loving existence? HA! Youre a chump to give that thought any energy at all! You can wish for a soul mate. You can long for one. But deep down inside, you know itll never happen. Not for you.
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From: (finding your soul mate) http://www.emotional-times.com/2011/12/desire-soul-mate.html